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Glee’ by a low-pitched numbers: Maxing out on Michael Jackson


Blaine (Darren Criss) shows off his MJ moves prior to the tragic slushie incident.
(Fox)
Tonight’s episode of “Glee” — a long-planned Michael Jackson tribute episode titled simply “Michael” — featured some of the most memorable dialogue in “Glee” history.

Take this line from Mr. Schuester, which followed the horrifying slushie attack on Blaine by the evil Warbler leader Sebastian: “In all my years as a teacher and a student, I have never known a slushie to do that kind of damage.”(Ah, William Schuester. Clearly you are unaware of the permanent brain damage suffered by Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten following the Great Squishee Bender of 1993.)

The fact that Matthew Morrison uttered those words with a completely straight face was overshadowed slightly by the fact that he then said, with an equally straight face: “Unless you have proof that he tampered with the slushie, the police aren’t getting involved.”

But sugary frozen beverages — as delicious and occasionally dangerous to corneas as they might be — were not the point of this episode. The point of “Michael” was, of course, Michael.

For those keeping track, this installment marked the third time that “Glee” has devoted an entire episode to the music of a single artist, the first one being the “Power of Madonna” and the second the Britney Spears lovefest titled “Britney/Brittany.” Both of those episodes featured scattered plot lines engineered to include as many songs by said artists as possible; both also glorified their respective pop stars’ images to an absurd degree that, apparently, was required in order to secure the rights to use their music. “Michael,” I’m afraid, wasn’t much different.

Too many of the numbers paid such meticulous tribute to the King of Pop and his era-defining videos that they came across as nothing more than weak imitations. And in what has apparently become a “Glee” tradition, Jackson — like Madonna and Britney before him — was treated like a musical messiah whose teachings should be studied like the word of the Lord. (“WWMJD?” Mr. Schuester encouraged his charges to ask themselves. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of regionals, I shall fear no Warbler” … that’s in the Bible, right?)

Not every glitter-socked move was a misstep, though. So let’s assess all nine of the Jackson numbers — for the record, that’s one less than we got from Madonna, but two more than the Spears episode delivered — in this week’s “Glee.” Disagree with my take? Feel free to be startin’ somethin’ in the comments section.

“Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ ” — Blaine and New Directions



(Fox)

After the first of two references to the Cirque de Soleil show “Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour” — which, for the record, really is coming to Ohio in June — Blaine got his Jackson-esque crotch-grabbing on to lead the whole gang in a little bit of “Mama-say mama-sah ma-ma-coo-sah-ing.” The number was appropriately big and splashy, but musically, it sounded like all the funk had been drained right out of it. Darren Criss is in­cred­ibly talented, but the truth remains: you can put a white glove on Criss’s hand but you can’t make him Michael Jackson. Grade: C+.

“Bad” — New Directions vs. Warblers



(Fox)

No. 1: Leather jackets, cheerleading skirts and prep school uniforms do not mix. No. 2: Maybe Jackson just sets the bar too high, but this tune also sounded noticeably defunkified. No. 3: If there’s a street fight set to this song that does not involve Wesley Snipes, then I want no part of it. Grade: C-.

“Scream” — Artie and Mike

Call this an homage or call it a straight-up rip-off of the brilliant video for this ’90s Jackson hit. Either way, it lacked the energy and genuine aggression of the original Michael/Janet Jackson collaboration, although at least Kevin McHale and Harry Shum Jr. got to show off their dance skills. Speaking of which: I had no idea how easy it is to make Shum look like Janet Jackson. It’s all in the eyeliner and the spiky sweaters, apparently. Grade: C.

“Never Can Say Good-bye” — Quinn

This understated (by comparison) take on the Jackson 5 standard worked much better than every track that preceded it. Why? Because it took a great tune and adapted it to “Glee” instead of trying to out-Jackson Jackson. Sure, it was corny, but after “Bad” and “Scream,” it provided much-needed semi-cheesy relief. Grade: B-.

“Human Nature” — Mercedes and Sam

The “Summer Lovin’” sweethearts reconnected the way so many young couples do: by singing a duet about “sweet seducing sighs” while the nerdiest jazz ensemble on Earth provided accompaniment. They sounded good together, even if the whole thing ultimately left me asking: “Why? Why?” Grade: B-.

“Ben” — Kurt, Finn and Rachel

If the name Bill can be changed to Will during the “Glee” version of “Wedding Bell Blues,” then why on Earth couldn’t they change the name Ben to Blaine in this serenade to the Boy Who Survived a Rock-Salt Slushie Assault? Perhaps the Jackson estate wouldn’t allow it. That’s a shame. But given that the original song was technically about a boy’s love for a killer rat, was it that much weirder to see Kurt, Finn and Rachel sing it to a guy who isn’t named Ben and was wearing an eye patch and a pair of Cary Grant’s pajamas? No, especially not when it gives Chris Colfer an excuse to hit those “You’ve got a friend in me” high notes. Grade: B.

“Smooth Criminal” — Santana and Sebastian



(Fox)

Like all intense duels, the one between Santana (Naya Rivera) and the “Glee” version of Steff from “Pretty in Pink” (Grant Gustin) began with these words: “Cello guys, can you hang back for a second? I’m going to need you for this one.”

Good lord, what was going on here? If Santana and Sebastian have such dastardly tendencies, why did they keep hiding behind all those conference room chairs? Aside from paying tribute to Jackson’s ensemble from the “Smooth Criminal” video, would there be any logical reason for Santana to confront Sebastian while dressed like Jack Abramoff? And what the heck were those cellists so convulsively angry about? All I know is this: to borrow the sage words of Jay-Z, who has yet to inspire his own “Glee” episode, none of these people could bust a grape in a fruit fight. Grade: D.

“I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” — Finn and Rachel

Lea Michele — who was genuinely moving when she wept on Kurt’s shoulder over her seemingly NYADA-less future — sang this Jackson love song in the loveliest possible fashion with Cory Monteith. For a moment, I was even briefly on Finn and Rachel’s side when they agreed to marry as a result of this duet, even though that decision makes zero sense. Of course, the sweetness of this number barely lasted since Rachel eventually did receive that much-coveted NYADA finalist letter, proving once again that today’s high-schoolers simply do not have the patience needed to deal with snail mail. Grade: B+.

“Black or White” — New Directions

This was the part of the episode where the New Directions decided to take the higher road and let the Warblers use Jackson’s music in their regionals routine. (Because that’s what Michael Jackson would do.) And it was also the part where the New Directions showed the Warblers they are wayyyy better than the Warblers while simultaneously singing about how people should exist in peace and harmony. (Because, again, that’s what Michael Jackson would do.) Thankfully, the Gleeks avoided smashing any car windows a la the 1991 music video. Unfortunately, they did not avoid a round of facial morphing, a la the 1991 music video. Grade: C.

Source: Lindsay Lohan & Siblings Being Harassed By Britney Spears' Ex-Manager Sam Lutfi

By Jen HegerRadar Legal Editor

Lindsay Lohan and her siblings are being harassed by Britney Spears‘ ex-manager, Sam Lutfi, according to a source close to the situation, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

Lutfi was Spears’ controversial former manager at the height of her epic public meltdown when she lost custody of her children, Sean Preston and Jayden James to her ex-husband, Kevin Federline. Spears was twice committed to a hospital involuntarily while Lutfi was a major player in her life. Brit’s dad, Jamie Spears, got conservatorship of her and obtained a restraining order prohibiting Lutfi from having any contact with her.

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Numerous text messages and emails have been sent from Lutfi to LiLo and her siblings in recent weeks.

“Sam is desperate to be in Lindsay’s life and is telling anyone that will listen that he is helping with the actresses’ comeback. This is absolutely false. Lindsay has a team in place consisting of an agent, manager and publicist. She doesn’t want nor need Lutfi in any capacity. Sam has been texting and emailing Lindsay’s siblings as well. Lindsay and her sister and brothers aren’t responding to any communication from Sam,” a source close to the situation tells us.

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Lindsay’s dad, Michael Lohan, is acquaintances with Lutfi. In 2010, Papa Lohan told us that, “I don’t know what his deal is, but I told him, ‘Don’t you ever text my daughter again.” Michael also said that Sam had texted Lindsay’s older brother, Michael Jr., stating that “Dina was doing the wrong thing.”

Negotiations are in the final stages for Lindsay to star in a Lifetime television movie about the late iconic actress Elizabeth Taylor and her Playboy magazine cover earned record sales. “Lindsay is telling her siblings to just ignore the texts and emails. They are considering changing their phone numbers,” the insider says.

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Sam’s former roommate, Samuel Barth, and his family were forced to get restraining orders against him as well.  Barth claimed Lutfi hacked into his Twitter and Facebook accounts, stalked and harassed him, his friends and family, and even tried to give his minor daughter a cell phone.

Lindsay’s rep Steve Honig told us, “Lindsay has never spoken to Sam Lutfi, period.”

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Calls seeking comment to Lutfi weren’t immediately returned.

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Commentary: Lindsay Lohan cleaning adult meant lady act

Here we go again.

Following in Charlie Sheen’s footsteps of finding success after hitting rock bottom, Lindsay Lohan is reportedly being considered to play the role of Elizabeth Taylor in an upcoming made-for-TV movie, “Liz and Dick.”

Reports have shown that Lohan is actually receiving more scripts than before and that producers are claiming that she is showing signs of “maturity.” That’s surprising considering her rap sheet over the last couple of years. It’s hard to say how long a movie could take to film with all of the potential court dates and community service hours that come with the actress.

Talk about baggage.

There is, however, good news for Lohan. She had her court date Tuesday — a progress report following a necklace theft in May and a 2007 DUI — and the judge ruled in Lohan’s favor. He approved of her recent behavior and was even seen reportedly flashing Lohan a smile.

The real concern here is what happened to the 25-year-old Hollywood starlet? Remember the innocent Disney years where she starred in “Freaky Friday,” “Herbie Fully Loaded” and “The Parent Trap?” Like so many actors and actresses who found success while they were young, Lohan fell into the deviant aspects that surround Hollywood youth. It’s sad to see but it could be worse, I suppose.

Prime examples of youth gone wild include Britney Spears and Robert Downey, Jr. and Corey Haim. I certainly hope that Lohan can stay out of trouble and fairs better than the latter member of the group. Haim died in 2010 at only 38 years old. He didn’t die as a direct result from substance abuse, a problem that plagued his past, but at the time of his death he was deeply depressed and secluded, reportedly a result of his past fame.

Despite what she has gone through, I think Lohan is capable of returning to the limelight. She has the look and the talent, but it will come down to whether she can keep herself straight. I understand that sometimes the temptations of life can outweigh the unknown, but just like any other recovery, resisting those temptations is vital to success. She has shown promise these last couple of months and I would be shocked if that didn’t continue.

‘Glee’ Michael Jackson Episode: Rumored Set List Leaks

“Glee” has already dedicated entire episodes to Madonna, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga, and come 2012, it’s the King of Pop’s turn.

A rumored set list for the January 24 “Glee” Michael Jackson tribute episode has hit the Web, and it features some of the late singer’s greatest hits. Perez Hilton reports that 14 tracks have made the final cut, although the list has yet to be confirmed by anyone connected with the show.

The set list (along with who will perform the track) reportedly includes “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ ” (Blaine), “Bad” (the New Directions and the Warblers), “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” (Finn and Rachel), “Smooth Criminal” (Santana and Sebastian), “Never Can Say Goodbye” (Quinn), “In the Closet” (Brittany and Santana), “We Are the World” (the New Directions and the Warblers), “Black and White” (Puck), “Ghost”/”Monster” (New Directions), “Beat It”/”Billie Jean” (Warblers), “The Way You Make Me Feel” (Kurt) and “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” (Artie).

This is hardly the first time the show has paid homage to Jackson. Back in 2010, the New Directions performed his track “Thriller,” complete with zombie garb, during an episode that aired after the Super Bowl. The show has also previously covered “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” and “Man in the Mirror.”

Back in 2010, the cast of the hit Fox show had only imagined what it would be like to have an entire episode dedicated to Jackson. “I would love to do a Michael Jackson episode,” Amber Riley told MTV News at the time. “You know, it’s so many [songs that I love], but my favorite song by him is ‘Human Nature.’ I love that song.”

While Riley seemed psyched about the opportunity, castmate Jenna Ushkowitz found the possibility a little more daunting. “That’s a scary, scary episode to do,” she said. “[But] that would be absolutely amazing.”

Are you happy with the rumored set list? What’s missing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!